No Presents Here
by naarna
Summary: A few days before Christmas, Hermione and Draco argue about his thoughtlessness in hiding his presents... FICLET for starrnobella! (Currently unbeta'ed)


**Disclaimer:** _Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. All fics posted at this community were written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended._

 **Main characters:** Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger-Malfoy

 **Summary:** A few days before Christmas, Hermione and Draco argue about his thoughtlessness in hiding his presents...

 **Author's Note(s):** This ficlet was written as a thank you for _starrnobella_ for helping me out with an aesthetic for my upcoming WIP. I hope you like it, my dear! =)

Currently unbeta'ed. It will be proof read as soon as the holidays are over, though.

 **Rating:** M (for mentions of sex toys and implied sex)

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"How was your day?" Draco asked, sliding under the cover to join his wife. It was only a few days before Christmas, and they both had more than enough to do in the days leading up to the holidays, and time together was rare enough.

"Embarrassing," Hermione replied, waiting for him to cuddle up against her body, as they would every evening before falling asleep. "The children are asleep?"

"Yes." Draco finally wrapped his arm around her from behind. "They are excited about what they will get for Christmas–"

"About that," she started, letting out a small sigh. "You're not exactly an expert in hiding presents..."

"What do you mean?" He placed a soft kiss on her shoulder, pulling her a bit closer.

"Draco, the children found those you intended for _me_." She stopped his hand from going any further up underneath her pyjama top. He wasn't going to get away so easily with his thoughtless lapse this time, even though she loved their intimate moments before falling asleep.

He stopped, leaning his head on her shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"That you're an idiot, my dear," she replied, smirking. "I mean, just what made you think they wouldn't find the presents there? You hid them in the first closet in the house, for Merlin's sake!"

"Hey, nobody ever checks the first closet!"

"Your children did!" With that, Hermione finally turned around to face him, narrowing her eyes. "They were playing with it when I checked on them this afternoon because they were giggling. Draco, your son was playing with what looked like a dildo, having fun because it made _funny noises_ when he pushed a specific button." Oh yes, finding her son playing with that thing was definitely one of her most embarrassing moments—and being married to Draco, she had experienced a fair share of such moments. A dildo definitely wasn't what she would describe as an age-appropriate toy.

"Now he is suddenly only _my_ son," Draco countered, trying to hide his smirk by pressing his lips together. "But in my defence, I _did_ put a sign on the door that said 'No presents here, move along'–"

"Draco, Scorpius is four, Rose barely two! They can't even read!"

"Do you think I don't know that?"

"Sometimes, I do, yes."

"Oh, please, love." He pressed a short appeasing kiss on her forehead. "I made it read it out loud for them. You know, like those signs for Tibby because that elf can't read either? I really thought it would throw them off the scent."

Hermione smiled shortly at the gesture, she loved those little kisses, and he knew that she couldn't stay angry with him for too long if he started doing them. "Scorpius is a bit too much like you, he doesn't care that much about rules–"

"You're the one with the tendency to break rules–"

"I just bend them a little if needs be, I don't _break_ them!"

"And Scorpius is just the same, love. He's too smart for his own good, and Rose follows him everywhere, you know that..." He slowly continued to place brushed kisses on her cheek and jaw, knowing that would make her purr eventually.

"Yes." However, Hermione pulled him back up, as she wanted to discuss this first; she wasn't going to be swayed so easily, though he had been close to her weak spot. "But you didn't have to explain to Scorpius that those were toys for adults while trying to take them away. Now he wants one of those things that make _funny noises_ for Christmas. He is FOUR! Really, what did you even think when you bought those things?" She gently swatted his chest to emphasise her words.

Now Draco grumbled, slightly exasperated. "It was supposed to be a surprise because you love trying new things, okay? And you know that I love you for that–"

"Still, you should have hidden them better!"

"I get it, okay? And I'm sorry!" With another sigh, he framed her head, pulling her closer for a kiss.

"Don't think I'll let you off the hook so easily," she whispered before responding to his begging tongue. "First of all, _you_ will explain to your son why he can't have such a toy for years to come." She was inclined to eavesdrop on that conversation just for the fun of seeing his embarrassment. But right now, she enjoyed the kiss, all tender with a hint of their usual passion hidden underneath. Thank the gods that after being married for six years now—and after two children—nothing had changed; it had only brought them to a new level, and partly because they were indeed open for new things. But however much she loved his kisses, it wouldn't get him out of trouble tonight. "And then you will get me a _new_ surprise..."

"Whatever you want, love," he breathed into the kiss. "But now, stop talking, and let me pleasure you a bit..."

"Pleasure me?" She pulled off, a devious wink in her eye while licking her lips. "You know exactly what I want in that case."

"Oh, then you will like what one of the toys can do. Just Summon them, and I'll show you."

"Idiot," she murmured with a smirk, and reached for her wand to Summon the box with the adult toys; she was now utterly eager to find out what her husband wanted to do because whenever he had his mind set to just pleasure her, it was going to end in a mind-blowing orgasm—and after this embarrassing day, she was in the mood for it.

 **END**

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 **Author's note:**

 _starrnobella,_ I do hope you liked it! I'm sorry I'm a bit late with it, but the muse was a bit fickle with that one, she preferred working on another story...


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